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Contento

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Posts : 58
Join date : 2009-07-14
Location : lenzie

PostSubject: Twins   Wed Sep 30, 2009 5:26 am

A Friend of mine was telling me he was having sex with his girlfriend and her twin. I said how lucky
can one man be how do you tell them apart???????.... He said her Brother has a moustache.!!!!!!

Wife walks into the bedroom and says to husband . Tonight i am gonna make you the happiest
man alive, Man replies : Don,t mess about , Who,s gonna help you pack at this time of night???..


Ryanair pilot Paddy is flying into manchester . The plane is in trouble , so he calls the tower and say,s " HELP ,HELP !!!. EASTER , PANCAKE TUESDAY, NEW YEAR,S DAY ,BANK HOLIDAY MONDAY,
HALLOWEEN , BONFIRE NIGHT. " ! Voice comes back from the tower and say,s for f*** sake
Paddy it,s MAYDAY!!!.

Guts or balls.
There is a medical distinction . We,ve all about people having guts or balls But do we know the
difference between them?????.
In an effort to keep you informed, the definitions are listed below.

GUTS Is arriving home late after a night with the boys, being met by your wife with a broom ,
and having the guts to ask : Are you still cleaning , or are you flying somewhere ???"

Balls - Is coming home late after a night out with the boys , smelling of perfume and beer , lipstick
on your collar, slapping your wife on the backside and having the balls to say: your next fatty ...



The irish have just solved the fuel problems. They have bought 5 million tons of sand from the arabs and they are going to drill for their own oil

1000 Glaswegians were asked if they thought britian should change its currency 99% said no,
they were happy with the giro.

Credit Crunch - the married version

Husband and wife shopping in tesco,s when the man picks up a crate of stella and sticks it in the trolley. " What do you think your are doing ??" asks the wife. " they,re on offer , £10 for 24 cans " ,
he says ." Put them back , we cant afford " , says wife and carrys on shopping . a few aisles
later , the wife picks up a £20 jar of face cream and puts it in the trolley. Husband says.
"What do you think you,re doing???. " Its my face cream it make me look beautiful " , she says .
Husband replies , so does 24 cans of stella and its half the price...

hope you like the jokes??????.
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thecarboss

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Posts : 171
Join date : 2009-07-06
Location : Cumbernauld

PostSubject: Re: Twins   Thu Oct 01, 2009 2:41 am

made me laugh.............so i've nicked them. lol!
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Contento

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Join date : 2009-07-14
Location : lenzie

PostSubject: nicking jokes   Sat Oct 03, 2009 4:28 am

Hi Car Boss its's nice to get a response good to see someone likes them.
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