british rail

British Rail are at it again...............The Sign said if i stand to close to the edge i might
get sucked off .. four hours i wasted standing their.

An irish man shouts to his wife, how tall am i love ? she says "5ft 10 why?"
irishman says "thank christ for that as they,re laying aff 6 fitters at work tomorrow"

A farmer had a phone call from his son "I,ve run over a pig , it,s still alive but it,s stuck under the tractor what shall i do ?" he said " shoot it and bury it" hour later son calls again " I,ve done that what shall i do with his speed camera.

3 female friends, a mistress , a fiance and a wife of ten years all decide to spice up
their sex lives by going to an an summers party. they all buy black thigh hi leather boots , black leather thongs and basques . and little black leather masks. The next day
they meet up and the mistress says her lover came home and immediately took her to
bed .The fiance said her partner took her to bed and made love all night long . And the
wife said her husband came home ,slapped her once on the backside and said
"aw right , batman , whits fur dinner.

A man sitting reading his paper when his wife hits him across the head.He say,s "what,s
that for ?" "I,ve found a piece a paper in your pocket with mary ellan on it "
Quick as a flash he replies "thats the name off a horse from the races last week!"
Which she accepts . A week later she hits him over the head with a frying pan ! " what
the f*** was that for ? she replies , Your f****** horse phoned!.