A few jokes

A pregnant woman from Washington, D.C. gets in a car accident and falls into a deep coma. Asleep for nearly 6
months, when she wakes up she sees that she is no longer pregnant and frantically asks the doctor about her
baby.
The doctor replies, "Ma'am you had twins! a boy and a girl. Your brother from Maryland came in and named
them."
The woman thinks to herself, "No, not my brother... he's an idiot!" She asks the doctor, "Well, what's the girl's
name?"
"Denise."
"Wow, that's not a bad name, I like it! What's the boy's name?"
"Denephew. "

What a woman says: Cmon...This place is a mess! You and I need to clean. Your pants are on the floor and you'll
have no clothes if we don't do laundry now!

What a man hears: C'MON....blah, blah, blah YOU AND I blah,
blah, blah, blah, blah ON THE FLOOR blah, blah, blah, NO CLOTHES blah, blah, blah, blah, NOW!

A lady was filling her tank at a gas station, smoking a cigarette,
even though all the signs say not to. The fumes that came out of
the gas tank ignited, severely burning her hands, and the fire
crawled up her arm.
Instead of rolling on the ground to put it out, she panicked and took off
running down the street.
A police car was at the intersection where it happened, and he tried to stop
her to put out her arm, but she just kept running and screaming. All the
officer could think of doing was to shoot her. This took everyone by surprise.
The officer ran over to her and put the fire out, then called for an
ambulance.
When questioned about his course of action to stop her, the officer said, "My
only thought was to stop her.



After all, she was waving a fire-arm."